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Long Walk To Freedom vol. 1

June 3, 2017 By Syed Ahmad Fathi Bin Syed Mohd Khair Leave a Comment

 

This article is a review on ‘Long Walk To Freedom’ volume 1 written by Nelson Mandela which was an autobiography of his life from 1918 to 1962. The book was published by Abacus in 1994.

The book started with a lot of African names of places and people that will puzzle you. Mandela describe his early life living in a village called Mvezo in Transkei. He was born to Xhosa tribe which is a part of Thembu people. His father was a councilor for King Dalindyebo. After the passing of the King, his father suggested Jongintaba as a successor, which then accepted by the local leadership and British ruler.

His Father however were then sacked after refusing to obey order from British magistrate, he lost his fortune and power. Mandela then lived with his mother in Qunu village. The name ‘Nelson’ was his English name given to him by his teacher when he was 7 years old. His birth name was Rolihlahla. His father died when he was 9. He was then lived with Jongintaba which act as Regent for Thembu people, he was considered as the Regent’s own son and lived in the royal residence in Mqhekezweni.

Mandela witness how the regent organized meeting with his tribal leader. The meeting thought Mandela that democracy means that every voiced. He witnessed how the regent will allow everybody to speak and organized succession meeting if consensus cannot be achieved. Mandela then further his studies at Clarkebury college, his worldview back then was still attached to Thembuland, he was aspired to be local councilor and nothing beyond that. He then went to Fort Hare to pursue his BA.

Fort Hare was the first place where his principle was tested. During the final year, Mandela was elected as a Student Representative Council (SRC) but he join other representatives in a boycott to press for more right. He was then summoned by the principal and given an ultimatum, to accept the SRC election result or to be expelled, he chosen the latter and get expelled. The regent then arrange a marriage for him, which he disagree and ran away to Johannesburg, where he started working and being politicized.

Mandela wrote “A man involve in the struggle was a man without a home life”. As his involvement with African National Congress (ANC) went deeper, he realized that much of his time with his family have to be sacrificed, later Mandela broke up with his wife, as she does not shared his political enthusiasm. One of the problem that have been discussed extensively in book is the cooperation of ANC with other group with different ideologies and racial background, particularly with the communist and Indian congress. He noted that although South African problem are special, it is not unique, it must be viewed on a larger context which is to join forces to eradicate human prejudice in the world.

In his book, he stressed out on how education is a vital component to lift society to a higher level. Education, Mandela wrote can turn “a child of a farmworkers to become the president of a great nation”.  The ANC struggle to ensure that the then-Nationalist government provide similar education to African people as what have been received by the white. On the emergence of ANC rival group, the Pan Africanist Congress (PAC), Mandela wrote that one have to be mature and suppress his own personal feelings. He wrote “to be a freedom fighter one must suppress many of the personal feelings that make one feel like a separate individual rather than part of the mass movement”.

The first volume described how the leaders of the opposition were put on a Treason Trial for their non-violent protest. The state however lost the legal battle, and they were released. Mandela have been banned for attending any meeting and gathering several time, after the treason trial he went underground and help organized arm resistance against the state. But he was captured again in 1962 and put to trial, he deliberately refused to call any witnesses for his defense and turn the plea into his political speech. The first volume of the book ends with Mandela sentenced to 5 years of imprisonment.

 

Syed Ahmad Fathi Bin Syed Mohd Khair
Syed Ahmad Fathi Bin Syed Mohd Khair

Author of several books including Berfikir Tentang Pemikiran (2018), Lalang di Lautan Ideologi (2022), Dua Sayap Ilmu (2023), Resistance Sudah Berbunga (2024), Intelektual Yang Membosankan (2024) and Homo Historikus (2024). Fathi write from his home at Sungai Petani, Kedah. He like to read, write and sleep.

independent.academia.edu/SyedAhmadFathi

Filed Under: Reviu Buku

How Starbucks Saved My Life

March 20, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight Leave a Comment

I discovered this book in the pantry of my office. The title was very appealing, although its sounds like an ads campaign for Starbucks. Most of the goodreads review is very negative on this book, some said that it just a boring piece which talked about different type of coffee. But after reading through the pages, I found that it was not that bad. In fact, for me personally, it was a genuinely amazing story.

The story start when Mike was ousted from his high paying job at a corporate advertising company. Mike who came from a privileged white upper-middle class family now jobless. He then have an affair with other women and divorced with his wife. To add more complication, he was then diagnosed with a small tumor behind his brain which caused a hearing problem to his left ear. So in his late sixties, he was broke, jobless, divorced and living with health problem. It was then, he met Crystal, a young African American manager who offer him a job at Starbucks.

In his new job he learn many values, and made many friends from different social classes. He learn that at Starbucks, respect is an uphold principle, not just a written word. He used to be a boss now realized that in his new job, no one order him to do anything. Instead all partner ( how Starbucks address colleagues), will ask politely “can you do me a favor?”. This practice struck Mike strongly, he find no such example in his previous high position.

In his journey to re-discover his life, Mike summon F. Scott Fitzgerald’s quote, “work was dignity”. He learned that he can be happy doing menial job, and that there is nothing wrong doing job cleaning a toilet. He might not afford living in huge mansion, but the job help him afford a small apartment, which is enough for him.

He also discover friendship with many other American in the lower class from where he is from, he learn how to respect them, he learn that they also done their part for the economy. These people were very far from him when he held a high corporate post, they were untouchable. Now they share the same work space with him, now they commute the same morning train to work everyday. Mike learn that his high social status now was useless, his former friends now distance themselves knowing he work at Starbucks as baristas.

Expectations tend to make life much more hard and un-happy. At 64 years old, he told himself to stop taking his life seriously. He should follow the flow, take whatever opportunity he had and survive. This is a very important thinking. We often live life to please expectations from people, from families, friends, society, and we fail, we feels like we are worthless and not up to standard. This should not be the case. There is no success or failure in life, life is not a game or competition. You should just live, survive, and be happy at what you’re doing. When he have less expectation, we will live a happier life.

The book was written by Michael Gill. Published by HarperCollins in 2008. You can get a copy from Amazon from below link. Photo credit to Westchester.

 

 

Editor The Independent Insight

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Upwardly Minded: The Reconstruction Rise of a Black Elite

February 3, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight 1 Comment

THE ORIGINAL BLACK ELITE
Daniel Murray and the Story of a Forgotten Era
By Elizabeth Dowling Taylor
Illustrated. 498 pp. Amistad/HarperCollins Publishers. $27.99.

As I learned years ago as an African-American student at Harvard Law School, it is a disturbing exercise to review the anti-black legislation that this nation drafted and enforced during the 19th and early 20th centuries. Our elected leaders not only exercised their power to liberate and protect certain groups, they also used it to punish those same groups when the larger citizenry began to fear or resent their mere presence. It was evident when the country took the land and the lives of a once-thriving Native American population, and again when the government endorsed the internment of innocent Japanese-American families during World War II; it can be seen again today, as a new president uses rhetoric that demonizes Muslim American citizens. In her brilliantly researched “The Original Black Elite: Daniel Murray and the Story of a Forgotten Era,” Elizabeth Dowling Taylor recounts the rise of African-Americans during the time of Reconstruction and their fall during the subsequent decades, when legislation was advanced in order to again segregate, impoverish and humiliate a population that many whites believed had gained too much.

By tracing the ascent of Daniel Murray, the wealthy black civic leader, businessman and assistant librarian at the Library of Congress, Taylor reveals how black Americans after the Civil War benefited from opportunities afforded by Reconstruction policies. Out of this environment of tolerance grew a strong and dignified black community in Washington, where the black elite could advance in prominent jobs, build successful businesses, pursue education for themselves and their children, and purchase imposing homes.

Although Daniel Murray was born free in 1851 — his father was a black lumberyard worker who had been manumitted in 1810, and his mother was a free woman of color — in Taylor’s prologue we are first introduced to a 48-year-old Murray. By 1899, he was already a prominent government appointee, who had worked at the Library of Congress for more than 25 years and then served as one of its second-highest-ranking officials, assistant librarian. Murray had a seat on Washington’s Board of Trade, a group of otherwise white businessmen that advised the government on taxation in the nation’s capital. His wife, Anna Evans, was a confident black socialite who taught at local schools, attended Oberlin College and happened to be related to the highly regarded black United States senator Hiram Revels of Mississippi. Murray had sons who would later attend Harvard and Cornell. He had the ear of white co-workers and business leaders, and he often met with white congressmen and their staffers who needed his guidance when researching legislative history in the library’s archives.

On the morning of Oct. 2, 1899, Murray — dressed in a silk top hat and a Prince Albert coat — had just descended the steps of his three-story red-brick home in northwest D.C. and was on his way to board a plushly outfitted train car. The 40-some passengers — all white, except for Murray — made up a special welcoming committee appointed by President William McKinley, on the occasion of honoring Admiral George Dewey for his victory in Manila Bay. Despite an initial picture that suggests Murray embraced clichés of racial tranquillity, Taylor makes clear throughout her book that Murray and most of his black elite friends “did not crave the company of white people.” Taylor, an independent scholar and the author of “A Slave in the White House: Paul Jennings and the Madisons,” understands the mind-set of the black elite, and she quickly points out that despite his own rise to the top, “Daniel Murray was ‘a race man to the core’ ”:

“If he took any pride in being the first black man to join this organization or the only one to be invited to that social occasion, his greater goal, his long-range vision, was to be in the vanguard of merit-based recognition for every American of color. The rise of those in Murray’s black elite circle was realized rather than potential. Its members had attained high levels of education, achievement, culture. . . . They were living proof that African-Americans did not lack the ability to become useful contributors to mainstream society.”

As Taylor traces Murray’s pre-Civil War childhood in Baltimore and his subsequent move to Washington, it becomes clear that his success — getting hired and promoted for his government job, purchasing real estate and building a reputation in the business community — was due to timing, connections and his ability to network with both whites and blacks. His older half brother, Samuel Proctor, was not only a successful Washington caterer whose client list included President Abraham Lincoln, but also the proprietor of one of the two restaurants in the Capitol. Because the restaurant, known as “the Senate Saloon,” was located in the Senate wing, Murray was afforded the chance to make casual acquaintance with senators and members of their staffs once he began working there in 1869, when he was 18. It was opportunities like this — in a more liberal, Republican-led government — that aided Murray’s rise. And unlike many other cities with large African-American populations, Baltimore and Washington provided the ideal environment for upwardly mobile blacks. At the time of Murray’s birth, 90 percent of the blacks living in Baltimore were free, giving it the largest free black population in the country. Washington, for its part, was a hub for the black elite because of the large number of government jobs and the establishment of Howard University, a magnet for black intellectuals and civic leaders.

Taylor knows how to weave an emotional story of how race and class have long played a role in determining who succeeds and who fails. We get to meet many of Murray’s friends and acquaintances, other members of the black elite. Howard’s law school dean Richard T. Greener was a successful attorney after attending Phillips Academy and then Harvard University; he became Harvard’s first black graduate in 1870. James Wormley owned the Wormley Hotel, a luxury establishment that opened in 1871 and catered to affluent white visitors. (In a bitter irony, it was also the reported site of the Hayes-Tilden Compromise of 1877, which marked the end of Reconstruction.) The newspaper publisher Pinckney Pinchback served as lieutenant governor and acting governor of Louisiana, and owned a mansion near the Chinese Embassy. Calvin Brent was Washington’s first African-American architect. The civil rights activist Mary Church Terrell graduated from Oberlin College in 1884; her father was recognized as the first black millionaire in the South, and her husband was the first black municipal court judge in Washington. We also meet the United States senator Blanche Bruce of Mississippi, who later served appointments under four presidents.

But the reader shouldn’t expect a happy ending in “The Original Black Elite.” The rug of opportunity and dignity was abruptly pulled out from under the nation’s African-American population. Murray and his circle watched nervously as white politicians and their own neighbors betrayed them. Angry white Southerners and the Ku Klux Klan claimed that blacks had come too far; Jim Crow laws denied African-Americans access to specific jobs, public facilities, restaurants, transportation; and cynical politicians galvanized white support by publicly demonizing African-Americans. After taking office in March 1913, Woodrow Wilson oversaw the segregation of federal offices, demoting and firing black employees; the few who were allowed to stay were suddenly required to use “colored only” bathrooms and eating areas.

Murray’s life spanned the beginning and the end of an era. While he enjoyed many years of integrated experiences in Washington, just 12 years after Wilson’s inauguration and 74 years after he was born, Taylor writes, “Daniel Murray died in a segregated hospital and was buried in a segregated graveyard.”

Editor The Independent Insight

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Songs of Themselves

February 3, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight 50 Comments

The observation that “writing about music is like dancing about architecture” has been attributed to everyone from Martin Mull to Frank Zappa to Thelonious Monk. It’s famous enough that it’s almost hackneyed by now, yet it’s as good a description as any for the nearly impossible task of using words to describe the sacredly wordless. Get bogged down in technical terms like diatonic interval and chromatic diesis and you risk sounding gratingly wonkish. Indulge in platitudes like “lyrical melody” and “haunting chords” and you’re a pathetic lightweight, a philistine.

So you’ve got to hand it to musicians who put down their instruments long enough to write entire books. Classical musicians, especially, carry a set of burdens that can make cross-genre endeavors uniquely challenging. They are confined to practice rooms for hours, days and years on end and tyrannized by necessary perfectionism; their achievements in many ways rest on their ability to shut out the noise of the outside world and play the same set of notes again and again. And while that can yield fine results, it doesn’t always lend itself to the kind of divine hubris required to put your thoughts in print and expect anyone to care enough to read them.

In a memoir published last year and two forthcoming this month, an oboist, a concert pianist and a guitarist set out to map the intersections of their musical lives and the much thornier vagaries of life in general. For Marcia Butler, the oboe was a protective garment and a ticket to the world, though both applications came at a steep price. As an awkward, antisocial preadolescent in 1960s Long Island, Butler is coerced into “a binding and sickening pact” with her father; if she confers sexual arousal by sitting on his lap, he will drive her to oboe lessons. “My father was my epic Wagnerian Wotan,” Butler writes in THE SKIN ABOVE MY KNEE: A Memoir (Little, Brown, $27), referring to Richard Wagner’s ruthless patriarch. “I was his dutiful daughter Brünnhilde.”

Butler wins a scholarship to the Mannes College of Music, where she undergoes the perfunctory comeuppances of high-level music study, including an assignment to go back to the basics and practice nothing but long tones for three mind-numbing months. Long tones are notes held until you run out of breath, and anyone who’s ever seriously studied a wind instrument (I played the oboe with varying degrees of resolve from childhood through college) will experience traumatic flashbacks reading about Butler’s stages of grief around this situation. “The time spent crying could be used for playing the long tones,” she writes. “You do as you’re told.”

Outside the conservatory, it’s 1970s New York City, and Butler by default embarks on the hero’s journey particular to that time and place, stealing food and spare change from a roommate, riding the subway with fake tokens and sleeping with an assortment of grungy ne’er-do-wells, including one who winds up at Rikers Island for what Butler later learns was a rape at gunpoint. In one especially affecting scene, Butler plays a Harlem church gig and is discreetly acknowledged by a congregant who recognizes her from the bus to Rikers.

“That was the thing about being a girl who played the oboe and had a boyfriend in the clink,” Butler explains, in what is surely the only time such a sentence has ever been committed to paper. “It was easy for me to separate the two realities and carry on as if all were harmoniously blended.”

If the colluding forces of her father’s abuse, her relentless self-discipline, and her love of opera and similarly concupiscent classical works split Butler into two discordant and ultimately incompatible halves — dutiful nerd on one side, hot mess on the other — James Rhodes’s dysfunction broke him into the proverbial million little pieces. A late-blooming British virtuoso pianist who found celebrity in part by styling himself as a sort of rock ’n’ roll bad boy of the classical world — his albums have titles like “Razor Blades, Little Pills and Big Pianos” — Rhodes never landed in jail. But reading INSTRUMENTAL: A Memoir of Madness, Medication, and Music (Bloomsbury, $27), you get the sense he wishes he could claim such dramatic levels of bottoming out. If his first love is music, his second is his own destruction. As a child he endured sexual abuse by a teacher that was horrific enough to result in long-term physical disability as well as psychological damage that led to promiscuity, substance abuse, dissociative identity disorder, suicidal ideation and self-injury. At one point, he takes off his shirt and shows his wife that he’s carved the word “toxic” into his arm with a razor blade.

Rhodes would like us to know that he’s in good company. Musicians, even powdered-wig types like Bach and Mozart, are notorious for making train wrecks of their personal lives. As proof, Rhodes splices his own story with interstitial mini-bios of great composers, leaning heavily on the tortured nature of their genius and attendant psychosis. Schubert was “a walking, talking car crash,” Beethoven’s family was “riddled with alcoholism, domestic violence, abuse and cruelty,” and Schumann, a failed suicide, died “alone and afraid” in an asylum, but not before writing “Geister (Ghost) Variations,” a piece “so called because he said that ghosts had dictated the opening theme to him.”

Butler’s book also contains italicized interstitial sections, which she deploys to show the grueling process of learning a piece of music, making reeds or the cobbled-together life of a working musician. But while “The Skin Above My Knee” is overwritten in places (it would appear the author never met an adjective she couldn’t find a job for), it ultimately succeeds because it leaves readers knowing a thing or two about an esoteric world they probably never thought about before. “Instrumental,” for its part, hews desperately to the well-trod conventions of the well-trod genre known as Portrait of the Artist as a Young, Self-Hating Narcissist.

Quoting from “Instrumental” is tricky, since Rhodes drops an unprintable-in-a-family-newspaper epithet at least once a page. He is quite good at articulating the often intractable dimensions of shame as experienced by sexual abuse survivors. But he seems almost chemically dependent on the F-word and its innumerable iterations. His use is excessive even by the standards of the digital age, according to which “voicey” writers on the web reflexively opt for lazy vernacular as a way of branding themselves as insouciant badasses. The effect, however, is nearly always tedious and soporific, the verbal equivalent of a weary double-reed player blowing nothing but remedial long tones.

An antidote, at least of a sort, can be found in Andrew Schulman, whose earnest but affable memoir, WAKING THE SPIRIT: A Musician’s Journey Healing Body, Mind, and Soul (Picador, $25), uses the author’s own story as the first movement rather than the entire symphony. In 2009, Schulman was placed in a medically induced coma following a cascade of post-surgical complications and thought to be near death until his wife, Wendy, pressed an earbud to his head and played Bach’s “St. Matthew Passion.” Within hours, his vital signs stabilized, his life saved by “the passion of Wendy and Bach.”

Once recovered, Schulman pursues a second career as a volunteer “medical musician,” enrolling in the hospital’s music therapy program and eventually returning to the same intensive care ward where he was once a patient. If Schulman seems a little too dazzled by the notion of his own healing powers — several scenes show patients taking miraculous turns as he strums his guitar next to their beds — he redeems himself with his willingness to take on some real research and reporting. He talks with neuroscientists and psychiatrists and explores the legacy of Pythagoras, the ancient Greek mathematician and philosopher who was among the first to recognize the healing properties of music. Along the way, Schulman posits that the relationship between the pain we feel and the songs and compositions we love has its roots in a tender, transcendent form of symbiosis. “Artists who used their music to alleviate their own suffering composed some of the greatest music ever written,” Schulman writes, “which in turn has the effect of ameliorating the suffering of others.”

Not that there will ever be a cure for the suffering that music can sometimes inflict on the very musicians playing it. But, hey, it’s nice work if you can get it.

Editor The Independent Insight

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Filed Under: Reviu Buku

The Rise of Brooklyn, What’s Wrong and What’s Right

February 3, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight Leave a Comment

THE NEW BROOKLYN
What It Takes to Bring a City Back

By Kay S. Hymowitz
199 pp. Rowman & Littlefield. $27.

Words are always shifting in their meanings, but what has happened to the word “gentrification” is something of a special case. Not too long ago, it was pretty much a value-neutral term for the process by which communities exchange one set of residents for another. Now it is a term of opprobrium, a word that conjures up the cruel displacement of defenseless poor people by a greedy and arrogant professional elite.

There is a whiff of hypocrisy in all this, or at least a strong element of disingenuousness. Ask mayors what they wish for in their city centers, and they will give you similar answers — safe streets, bustling sidewalks, busy stores and restaurants, and a healthy and growing residential population with plenty of money in its pocket. Mayors and city planners spend much of their time maneuvering to create these things, but with one inevitable disclaimer: They don’t want it to lead to gentrification. What they choose not to admit is that the change they are seeking and the change they claim to fear are exactly the same thing.

As “gentrification” has become an increasingly dirty word, the volume of disingenuous posturing on the subject has increased dramatically, and the supply of balanced reporting has declined. One writer who has managed to speak sensibly above the din is Kay S. Hymowitz, a contributing editor at City Journal and a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute. “The New Brooklyn” is her admirably clearheaded assessment of the borough that sometimes seems the epicenter of American gentrification.

Brooklyn’s overall return to affluence in the 21st century has been a remarkable event, and it is one that Hymowitz describes with an unmistakable relish. “A left-for-dead city marinated in more than a century of industrial soot,” she writes, “became just about the coolest place on earth and the paragon of the postindustrial creative city.” But the core of the book is the portrait that she draws of half a dozen individual neighborhoods, and the subtleties that each of them reveals about the gentrification process.

Writing of now fashionable Park Slope, where Hymowitz herself lives, she makes some provocative sociological points that tend to get lost in the larger commotion. One is that class is now far more important than race: White gentrifiers with elite-school credentials and well-paying jobs get on famously with their well-educated black counterparts. The people they fail to connect with are their white working-class neighbors, most of whom were there before gentrification and have never been comfortable with it.

In a similar way, work and avocation are more important than geography. The relationships that matter most in Park Slope are those that link residents who share professional and leisure-time interests, not those of people who happen to live next door to one another. The days when neighbors bonded during long summer evenings on the front stoop are a distant memory. Today’s Park Slope citizens are oriented toward their backyard gardens and cedar decks; they may not know the family next door at all.

Park Slope is a neighborhood of elegant but formerly dilapidated brownstones now restored to its 19th-century glory. Nearby Williamsburg is something else entirely: an old working-class enclave whose industrial grittiness became pretentiously chic in ways that no one thought possible. In Williamsburg, the artists who arrived as pioneers in the 1980s resent the techies who showed up in the early 2000s, and both resent the Wall Street traders who moved in after them. All three groups are scornful of the huge condo towers that have sprung up on the Williamsburg waterfront as a result of rezoning in the past decade and, as Hymowitz puts it, erected a “massive wall between the community and the waterfront park.” Those towers are a dark side of gentrification, and Hymowitz candidly portrays them as such.

The way for any collection of neighborhood profiles to succeed is to make fine distinctions between places that casual observers tend to consider similar. Hymowitz does that effectively in the case of Bedford-Stuyvesant and Brownsville, two neighborhoods widely perceived as outposts of African-American poverty and social dysfunction. Bedford-Stuyvesant hit bottom in the 1960s and 1970s, but more recently its architectural graces have made it attractive to middle-class newcomers, many of them black professionals. Brownsville, on the other hand, is an early-20th-century Jewish tenement slum that became an isolated fortress of public housing, a “dumping ground for the most welfare-dependent and least capable of Brooklyn’s black poor.” Gentrification has not touched it — at least not yet.

It is in discussing Brownsville that Hymowitz reveals her ultimate conclusions about the subject of her book. She challenges the local activists there who have voiced their opposition to the coming of the white middle class. “They’re making a mistake,” Hymowitz writes. “The difficult truth — and it is immensely difficult — is that gentrification would be about the best thing that could ever happen to Brownsville.”

And indeed, the thesis that emerges from the book, balanced as the author tries to make it, is that gentrification has been, on the whole, a good thing for Brooklyn. No fair-minded observer can deny, and Hymowitz does not try to deny, that significant numbers of poor people have been forced to leave Park Slope and Williamsburg, that this is happening in Bedford-Stuyvesant and that it will happen in more remote parts of the borough in the years to come.

And yet when one considers Brooklyn as much of it stood 40 years ago — once-vibrant communities whose residential blocks had become unsafe by day and by night; elegant brownstone homes that had fallen into dangerous disrepair; commercial districts with storefronts abandoned by merchants who could no longer make a living from them; job losses mounting in every corner of the borough — when one thinks back to those depressing days, and compares them with the Brooklyn of 2017, the ultimate logic of Hymowitz’s argument is compelling: Gentrification has winners and losers. Urban decline makes losers out of everyone.

Editor The Independent Insight

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Filed Under: Reviu Buku

Diving Into Hell: A Powerful Memoir of Depression

February 3, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight 55 Comments

THIS CLOSE TO HAPPY
A
Reckoning With Depression
By Daphne Merkin
288 pp. Farrar, Straus & Giroux. $26.

Not so long ago, the mere fact of writing that you had suffered from depression conferred a badge of courage, but such confessions have devolved into a dull mark of solipsistic forthrightness. Famous people use such disclosures to persuade you that they are just like you, perhaps even more vulnerable; it’s a way of compensating for the discomfort attached to their glamour. Indeed, in an increasingly stratified world, people with any modicum of privilege may reveal their depression as an assertion of their common humanity. Clinical misery has taken over from death as the great equalizer. Vanity of vanities, all is depression.

Into this morass daringly comes Daphne Merkin with the long-awaited chronicle of her own consuming despair. Merkin was born into circumstances of plenty, the poor little rich girl; she is not interested in universalizing, though she often does so almost inadvertently. In the earlier part of her memoir, her tight focus on her own story at the expense of anyone else’s can come off as self-indulgent, even self-aggrandizing, but it is part of her considerable art that by the end, it feels like a winning frankness. The reader is saved from diaristic fatigue by the sharpness of her observations. She is not out to demystify life on Park Avenue, nor even to apologize for it, but only to explain her experience, which happens to have unfolded there. She does not try to unpack the function of the amygdala, avoids all the statistics about the rate of the illness and does not apologize for her descents into darkness. Instead, she narrates what happened and how it felt to her. And she does so with insight, grace and excruciating clarity, in exquisite and sometimes darkly humorous prose. The same tinge of self-aware narcissism that makes the book at times so annoying makes it finally triumphant. Merkin is unlikely to cheer you up, but if your misery loves company, you will find no better companion. This is not a how-to-get-better book, but we hardly need another one of those; it is a how-to-be-desolate book, which is an altogether more crucial manual.

Most memoirs aim to seduce; you are supposed to fall in love with the writer, or at the very least to approve of him or her. Merkin’s book makes no such demand; she is perfectly content to ensure that you admire her not at all. She blames herself so readily that you get to blame her, too. She takes a certain masochistic relish in trying to alienate with her singular blend of self-obsession and ostentatious vulnerability, and parts of the book appear to be intended as a punishment of everyone who hasn’t loved or understood her, from her mother on down to the reader. Yet this very “go ahead and hate me” dynamic achieves a real intimacy that more cautious accounts cannot equal; you end up liking her nearly in spite of herself. Mary McCarthy, asked to blurb Merkin’s first book, expressed astonishment at the book’s “lack of shame,” and wrote that “the book fascinates one by its openness.” It’s hard not to have the same take on this mordant volume with its waves of brittle honesty and blunt nakedness.

Merkin is capable of being at once melodramatic and finely nuanced; she has so many good phrases about depression that it’s hard to choose among them. In one episode, she is “shorn of relief,” which condenses the relentless descents into a perfect epigram. Depression is a social condition, and she gives it a social context, writing: “It was as though I fell off the end of the earth the minute I wasn’t in the presence of another person — or perhaps I meant that the other person fell off the end of the earth, or that we both did. However the process works, everyone seemed to dissolve, and I was left to wander around in a moonscape bleached of reliable human connection.” For those of us who have suffered the slings and arrows of this particular demon, there can be no clearer summary.

Merkin’s parents were prosperous Orthodox Jews who, in her telling at least, were cold and unloving, but who seem nonetheless to have provoked in her a passionate and consuming attachment. Her mother fulfills all the clichés about Jewish mothers except the one about unbridled self-sacrifice. She is domineering, intellectually inclined, critical, with a viselike grip, and so woven into the fabric of her children’s lives that they cannot have any experience that is not somehow of her. She appears empathetic enough to grasp what her children are feeling, but not very kind in the application of that knowledge. As a child, Merkin could achieve her mother’s full attention only when she was sick, and she ponders whether her yearning for maternal affection might have been an engine of her later breakdowns. When Merkin gets married, she feels she has betrayed the sacred monster she so loves to hate. “We were tangled up like bedclothes,” she complains, and yet she also writes, “Without my mother, who will cut up the world into bite-size pieces for me?”

You feel Merkin struggling to see her mother even as she professes to escape from her. “The fact is that she is not as unaware of my turmoil as she acts — or as I choose to believe,” she acknowledges. “There is nothing she doesn’t know, nothing that will undo her. Perhaps this resilience is what she offers instead of a more recognizable form of love.” This ruthless intimacy, no matter how poisoned, was inescapable; and when it faded, the shock was palpable. Of her mother’s final illness, Merkin observes, “She was alert enough but seemed far away, as though she had sailed out to sea while the rest of us stayed on dry land.” Those psychoanalytic narratives in which barely suppressed family drama and cruelty are intermingled with attachment and thus produce neurosis are often questioned in our post-Freudian epoch, but they hold true for Daphne Merkin, who has been much analyzed by psychiatrists and friends and family and self to emerge as an epitome of what analysis seeks to locate: a person in whom every emotion is also its opposite.

Her concern that her own depression is a pathetic failure, and perhaps even an imagined hysteria, salts a memoir full of actual hospitalizations and suicidal longings. She describes sitting at a dinner where she feels depression is “a fraudulent bundle of symptoms, an inflated case of malingering that everyone suffers from but that only a select, self-indulgent few choose to make a big deal about.” She is one of those who make a big deal about it, but she can hardly say how or why. In one telling passage, she writes: “Yesterday in therapy I described my life as ‘horrific,’ which I realize is subjective and self-dramatizing. . . . I know there are people hanging on by a thread in Haiti and the Congo and elsewhere across the globe, I know, I know, I know. . . . But I still can’t get out of being me, a desperado from way back.” Elsewhere, she confesses, “First there was the confinement of my childhood, like an incessantly replayed loop of film, and now there is my adulthood, which seems like a prison of a different kind.” Yet she knows how unattractive her condition is; she writes about sweating a lot, and about being boring, even to herself. “The truth is that no one is interested in why you want to kill yourself, no one really believes that you will, until you’ve already done it, and then it becomes morbidly intriguing to try and map it backward.”

Merkin is accustomed to the disengagement that her emotional state provokes; she dares us to disengage like so many others. Of her most recent hospitalization she says, “In my intake interview . . . I alternated between breaking down in tears and repeating that I wanted to go home, like a woeful child left behind at sleep-away camp. The admitting nurse was pleasant enough in a down-to-earth way but was hardly swept away by gusts of empathy for my bereft state.” She describes her envy of the anorexics on the unit, who “were clearly and poignantly victims of a culture that said you were too fat unless you were too thin. . . . No one could blame them for their condition or view it as a moral failure, which was what I suspected even the nurses of doing about us depressed patients. In the eyes of the world, they were suffering from a disease, and we were suffering from being intractably and disconsolately — and some might say self-indulgently — ourselves.” While Merkin nearly boasts of her nose-dives into hell, she also relates how hard she has worked to mask her depression, an enterprise that has made her feel only more alone. “I have hurled all the charm and wits I have at my disposal against my proclivity to depression, such that it would be difficult for even close friends of mine to detect how low I am at any given time.”

The power of such passages in “This Close to Happy” is that she refuses all defenses. She herself is never sure that she isn’t being self-indulgent, and her consternation about that fact invites deep sympathy with her underlying pain. She longs to be a better mother to her daughter, and worries constantly that her lapses into inchoate abnegation might be devastating to her child. She might not be an easy person, but she is determined to be better at affection than her parents were.

It is hard to be depressed, but it is also hard for those who have been depressed to forsake their condition. Merkin writes: “One minute you were in the shuttered-down universe of the verifiably unwell, of people who talked about their precarious inner states as if that were all that mattered, and the next you were admitted back into ordinary life, where people were free to roam as they pleased and seemed filled with a sense of larger purpose. It could cause vertigo if you weren’t careful.” Yet she does emerge, time and again, to feel the relief in being able to “entertain unhappy thoughts without getting stuck in a stranglehold of despair.”

She concludes by sharing that she feels better now, but we already knew that: If she didn’t feel closer to happy, she couldn’t have finished this book. She knows how foolish it is for a depressive to write about being better in a way that sounds permanent; she describes how entering a hospital after writing of depression in the past tense seemed a betrayal of a literary persona on which she had become reliant. She limns the fantasy of the depressed person, always believing against the odds that it is possible to be free of the condition’s endemic weight. “This secret conviction bears some resemblance to religious faith,” she observes, “although it demands nothing and offers nothing back except its own irrationality.” It is standard fare to say that books on depression are brave, but this one actually is. For all its highly personal focus, it is an important addition to the literature of mental illness.

Editor The Independent Insight

Kami mengalu-alukan cadangan atau komen dari pembaca. Sekiranya anda punya artikel atau pandangan balas yang berbeza, kami juga mengalu-alukan tulisan anda bagi tujuan publikasi.

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A review on Howard Zinn’s People’s History of The United States

February 2, 2017 By Editor The Independent Insight Leave a Comment

A review on Howard Zinn’s People’s History of The United States by Syed Ahmad Fathi

Editor The Independent Insight

Kami mengalu-alukan cadangan atau komen dari pembaca. Sekiranya anda punya artikel atau pandangan balas yang berbeza, kami juga mengalu-alukan tulisan anda bagi tujuan publikasi.

Filed Under: Reviu Buku

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